DEAR DAD

7 things I loved about my dad

Today marks one year since my dad went to Glory.

It went so fast… and so slow. Can't believe it’s already been a year; it feels like it happened yesterday. But it also feels like another lifetime ago, like something I recall from 10 years ago.

Grief has a weird way of messing with time.

I probably have 2-3 dreams about my dad every week. From all the time spent in the hospital, to memories of my childhood, to us in a heavenly-like city talking about the Kingdom (I have had many of these dreams, and they are surreal, but I can never remember what we are talking about, it’s really annoying.)

I miss him a lot. I miss hearing his voice, I miss talking to him about Cruz’s games, I miss talking about church, I miss him texting me telling me to bring him a strawberry shake to his house, and I miss making fun of him. He would text with his fat little fingers and misspell everything. My sisters and I called him Mr Koala Hands. Watching my kids process his passing has been hard. My four-year-old says at least 2 times a week, “I want papa back, why did Jesus take him.”

I miss him, but mostly… I’m thankful. Of all the dads I could have been raised by, I’m blessed it was him.

If you knew my dad, he was obsessed with specific numbers: 7, 14, 21. Every sermon was 7 declarations of faith, 14 attitudes believers have, 21 rivers Pastor’s cross.

Therefore, here are 7 things I loved about my dad. They have shaped my life. (This is going to be a little long. sorry not sorry)

1 HE CARED ABOUT PEOPLE MORE THAN ANYTHING

The highest priority in my dad’s life was his friends. He would do anything, at any time, for anyone he loved. Money did not matter, accolades did not matter, and large stages did not matter. Friendship mattered to my dad. He would often tell me that relationships are the currency of the Kingdom.

Many dont know this, but my dad was not close with his family. He left home at 15, rented an apartment with his older brother, and never went back. Paid every dime of his life on his own from 15 on. I met my dad’s parents one time, for 1 day. He has 6 siblings, and I have met one of them. My mom is from Australia and her family still lives there. Therefore, I didn’t live with uncles, aunts, and cousins. That’s a foreign concept to me.

So my dad ended up making his friends, his family. I was raised with a deep-seated awareness that people matter more than gold. He would always tell me, “Son, do whatever you can in this life to keep lifelong relationships. They can’t be replaced.” My dad died at 75. I still talk to some of his friends today, that he met when he was 20. That’s 55 years of friendship.

2 HE SAW THINGS IN PEOPLE

My dad had an absolute gift for seeing things in people that they did not see in themselves. He would find people, call out their gifting, and mentor them into becoming a force in the kingdom, their job, their business. He would call people higher, to become bigger, reach farther. Small was a curse word to my dad. He was a man of faith, and he inspired it in others. People were drawn to him, like moths to a flame. Not because he was a big deal, but because he made others a big deal.

He was a champion of other people. He would often say, “Don’t restrict others’ potential because of your own insecurities.”

It would be impossible to know the number of lives that my dad’s words changed them forever.

3 HE FOUND THE FATHERLESS

My dad would find pastors who had no one, and he would become their father. He wasn’t just a good teacher, a good writer, or a good church builder; he was a father to many, many pastors. Good preachers are dime a dozen right now. Good fathers are rare. There was something about him that he had the ability to draw people in, within 5 minutes, and deposit something into the soul they had been craving for years.

He was a calming presence. People would just sit and listen to him talk for hours. Everyone needs a father in their life. Especially as he got older and more frail he got, people from around the world would call him just to talk for 10 minutes.

He found the Timothy and Titus of the world, and poured his entire life and heart into them.

4 HE HAD A BACK BONE

Many know my dad as a very soft and kind man, usually soft-spoken. He rarely raised his voice out of anger. But he was a man of grit. Strength. He had a backbone. My dad had a motor that I have rarely seen in my lifetime. I would travel with him when I was 18 or 19. He would speak 30 times in one week, I would speak 0 times, and I would be the tired one just attending all the meetings. He would work from 6 am to 10 pm most days.

He was a man of great discipline. There was no short-cutting, no easy outs. He would preach to me all the time when I was younger about the “little foxes that spoil the vine”. The little bad habits, the little lack of discipline, the little lies, that ruin everything. He was a man of excellence in everything he did. A person of great focus.

I used to call him Frank the Tank. One of my best friends Lyle and I have a matching tattoo of a tank for him.

He was an absolute tank. Someone to be reckoned with.

HE NEVER QUIT

I dont know if most of the public is aware of the amount of pain and suffering my dad went through. He and my mom were barren for 12 years, adopted their first child and on their way to pick her up, she passed away in the night. He got cancer 13 years ago, and the chemo and radiation destroyed his body. It kept him alive and killed him at the same time. He did 400 hours of chemo. 100 hours of radiation. He had to get all of his teeth pulled out, all of them, because of the chemo, and had to get implants. He had 3 hip surgeries, where the chemo was administered, because of recurring infections. He got a blood infection that turned into a serious problem and spent 40 days in the hospital. Then last year, his kidneys failed, and he gained 60 lbs of fluid. He was like a water balloon, and at one point, I could barely get both of my hands around his forearm.

When my sister Bethany died 3 years ago, that affected him deeply. He couldn’t really speak about it. You are never the same after burying your child.

And yet. He traveled all over the nation. Coached hundreds of pastors. Wrote more books. Led a movement of 10,000 churches called MFI. Started Frank Damazio Ministries that helped hundreds of churches. Spent his life building the Church. Some seasons, he ministered through blurry eyes and a broken heart.

Quitting was not an option. His resilience marked everyone who watched his life.

5 HE ENDED WELL

There isn’t going to be a Roy’s Report coming out because of stories never told. He was a man of deep character and integrity. He was in full-time ministry for 52 years, not one scandal. Not one misstep. Not one accusation. Never left orthodoxy. He and my mom were 2 months away from their 50th wedding anniversary.

In a cultural moment where there are reports and reports of pastors falling, churches being sued, someone leaving historical Faith, it is nice to know my dad was one of the ones who made it. One of the pastors who did it right.

He did not just end well in ministry. He ended well in his life. He succeeded at both.

6 HE WAS A HUMBLE SERVANT

I was raised by a real-life Apostle. Not a TikTok self-appointed one. A real-life Apostle that shaped the Kingdom of God around the globe. He was a general in the Kingdom, but he never thought of himself that way. He would probably be mad at me for even saying that. He was a humble man. He never dominated conversations, he would never talk down to people, and he never demanded things. He was a simple man who just wanted to help people. I saw him speak to rooms of 40,000 and coach pastors that had 200 people in their church, with the same passion and care.

He never carried himself arrogantly or proudly. He had a quiet confidence about him.

7 HE WAS GENEROUS

My dad wanted to pay for everyone and everything. He lived open-handed. Yes, he was generous with money, but even more than that, he was generous with his time. He would give his time to everyone. He had this thing he did all the time with people, he would say, “Give me a 5-minute update about your life, I want to know how you are doing.” It was never 5 minutes.

Many Sundays, I would come to his house after church, and he had spent the last 3 hours texting 50 pastors. “You are going to preach so well today! God is with you! Give ‘em heaven today! You are an important leader, I’m with you!

Only heaven has the tally of how many hours he gave away, investing in people and their churches.

He would give people his time, his notes, his books, and the classes he taught, for free. He just wanted to make a difference.

He was a generous man through and through.

Well done, good and faithful servant.

-Andrew.